Seattle and Me

I lost my youngest brother in 2008, it was a huge wake up call to what I was doing with my life. I did so many things that I was ashamed of, I forgot my morals and my values. In the last year in was a major fall and then climbing back to the top of the mountain and when I wanted to turn back my friends and family were there to show me that my past is at the bottom and there is no need to return and now the sun is shining on my future and I can't wait to see what is there. I know that I will have the most amazing husband, loving friends and family and my loving Pug Leeloo. I am very thankful for the people that God has put in my life and you know all of my life is the way it is because of him and the love he gives to me. 

Fall is finally here, I love fall the smell of the rain on the leaves, the smell of Pumpkins and thanksgiving dinner. Also the cool breeze across your cheek as you step outside. One of my favorite times of year. scratch that it is my favorite time of year. Now that I have been with Devin going to Oktoberfest is added to another thing that makes fall my favorite. I also like the fact that you start to wear jackets and scarves, drinking hot chocolate. I don't know if I could say anything more.

Well my 23rd birthday has come and gone. I am not only two years away from being a quarter of a century not so much scared or nervous about this excited more the less because I have made it this far and life is wonderful. I have great friends and family who were able to celebrate with me.  Speaking of which, in the past weekend there has been many kind words said to me and I am so happy that I have had such an impact on so many people in a year of knowing them. My friend Cherie said how happy she was that she had gotten to know me over then last year that she is thankful that I am with Devin and that I made it to being around another year. Then Curtis said how he wants us to hang out more and called me his sister almost got some tears on that part. He has only known me a year and yet he calls me his sister means much more then I thought it would when I heard it. Then another friend Andrea was talking about how happy she was that I was happy and that I found some that takes care of me

Well today marks the one year anniversary of me moving to Seattle. So crazy how life when you are older and on your own just flys by.   Tomorrow is also my 23rd Birthday, seems like just yesterday I was turning 16, I wonder how my family feels if I already feel old. lol. But life is good still with age you become wiser well that's what I like to believe at least.   I feel I do understand things and where I want to be in life, a couple weeks ago I had my "mid life Crisis" totally freaking out that I am not getting where I want to be yet me my life but you know what I still have time.I know with time I will get where I am going and where I want to be. I hope that in the next few years things will settle down and I will have the life I have been dreaming of.

Well I am 15 days away from my 23rd Birthday. Hard to believe that I am turning 23 seems unreal. Some times I feel that time is going to fast. But that is life, I always planned my life to be that by this point I would be engaged or married looking for a house and then in about 2 or 3 years having my first of about 2 or 3 children. It's crazy how life just changes in a blink of an eye, I have done things in my pas that I am not proud of because I just wanted the change to be covered by more change, Change was the hardest when I lost Jake my little brother when he was only 17 years old. I thought life was so unfair and didn't want to live out my dreams anymore, because Jake wasn't able to live out his dreams. But I changed that Attitude to living in his memory doing things that he would have wanted to see me do. Starting school and planning out my future. Then I changed that to finding a man that would treat me well and  love me for me.  But it all comes down to just making

Well I did it, I have a fantasy football team. I blame it all on Devin, but this will probably be easier for the fact that it will keep me busy while Devin does his team too.  I am excited, in this last year I have made some good changes as well as finding me again. I didn't think that it would ever happen but it did. I missed me and I am becoming  more of who I should have and not someone that I don't want to be. The cloud is finally gone and I can see the sun. Oh how I have missed this side of me, I have been gone for so long.   Devin showed me a lot more in life that I forgot was really there. I don't think that I can ever thank him for what he has done for me. I have him my whole heart and and even tho it was in pieces he held those pieces together and made it whole again. Truly whole again.

 Sometimes I forgot all the wonderful people that I have in my life. The people that have been in my life as well as the people that I just met a year ago, I feel as tho I have known them my entire life that is the most amazing feeling in the world.   I guess that would go well with the fact that Devin is my best friend and I want to be with him my whole life, he understands me and loves me for my past and present. Sometimes I feel that I can so him how much I love him as well as I want too. I know someday that I will tho.

Well all I can say is that I am bored and really wanted to type something. I can't lie I missed myspace and blogging on there, But this is much better.   I was born and raised in Michigan, many people when I tell them that they say Minnisota close but not so much lol.  It's been an amazing time here in Seattle though, I have an amazing man as well as an adorable puppy name Leeloo. She is almost 3 months old.   Also, I never imagined myself here in the big city but its nice and there is so much to explore. I am going back to school as soon as my man is done with grad. school. Not sure where but I will be finishing my degree in Ele. education.